2009’s Bums
Governor Sanford went hiking
Along the old Appalachian Trail
But he ended up in Argentina
With one hot sexy female

It was a cellular phone
Caught Tiger Woods lying
His wife then chased him
With a Nike five iron

Bernie Madoff got busted
In a Ponzi scheme
But a 150 years
Does seem a little extreme

Governor Rod Blagojevich
Got in a lot of heat
When he tried to sell
Barrack’s Senate Seat

John Edwards, John Ensign
And TV host David Letterman
All were this caught year
Where they shouldn’t have been

Taffy

Last night I prayed for death
To come through our door
And take my wife’s little poodle
So she would suffer no more

My wishes were granted
Just a few hours later
As she lay there still
In the bed that I made her

My wife was heartbroken
And so was I
If you have a pet
You’ll understand why

Our little Taffy
Had lived a full life
So much of it better
When rescued by my wife

She had been abused
And mistreated so much
But she quickly responded
To Carol’s gentle touch

Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And I was in the kitchen
Pouring myself a drink
While my wife just kept on, bitching

My companions were there
Dr. Pepper and Ron Caballero
I was feeling no pain
In this holiday scenario

The tree was all lighted
With those lights that you buy
And I have to admit
The same condition, was I

The music was playing
About those angels on high
That about the same altitude
As this friendly guy

The stockings were hung
All in a row
Reflecting the fireplace
Which was like I, all aglow

I felt sorry For Santa
Only once a year he comes
So instead of cookies and milk
I left him some coke and rum

There were presents
Tucked under the tree
There were more for the dog
Then there were for me

I bought my wife jewelry
Some diamonds and beads
Cause lord knows
There’s nothing she needs

For she always dresses me
And she’s my calorie counter
And she never let’s me forget
That I’d be lost without her

My wife loves Christmas
And the holiday season
She now can go shopping
For now she has a good reason

But I won’t say humbug
For that would be trite
I’ll just say, Merry Christmas to all
And to all a Good Night

Mother Said

With at least a million thoughts
That keep running through my head
Still the most important
Are the “Words My Mother Said”

Your greatest fears
Are those in your mind
Forgiveness and tolerance
And always be kind

Pity the ignorant
Who promote hate and fear
Read all you can
Believe little of what you hear

Keep an open mind
Never assume you’re too smart to learn
But don’t be afraid to doubt
And seek answers to your concern

Always be proud of yourself
Be honest, true, and fair
But don’t, you ever go out
Unless you have on, clean underwear

"It's A Wonderful Life"

Bedford Falls

Every Christmas season
TV shows “It’s A Wonderful Life”
Where Donna Reed plays
Jimmy Stewart’s loving wife

Jimmy play George Bailey
Of the Bailey Brother’s Savings & Loan
Where in the town of Bedford Falls
They help people purchase, a home of their own

It was the American Dream
For every family
To be a homeowner
In our land of the free

Lionel Barrymore
Played that evil Mr Potter
Who like today’s bankers
Led the lambs to the slaughter

He portrayed an evil character
Who is obessed with such greed
Like today’s bankers
Who own a poor man’s deed



But now Wall Street
Wants to spread, their Christmas Cheer
With all those big bonuses
To all their employees this year


The money that they spend
After we bailed them out
Could stop all the foreclosures
For four years or there about

Wall Street has taken our money
From the taxpayers of our nation
And spent about 100 million
To fight any kind of regulation

They have devalued our dollar
And risen the price of gold
While pushing American families
Right out, in to the cold

So bring back George Bailey
And that Savings & Loan
With the things, that we value
Like a home of our own

Supreme? Court

Are they part of
America’s dream
And why is this court
Is called supreme

Just nine old folks
With a law degree
Deciding the future
For you and me

Are we so sure
That they’re that smart
Do they make judgments
From their brain or their heart

Does their conscience
Influence their decisions
Or is it their politics
Or choice of religions

I only hope that
They’re honest and fair
When they decide
What laws are declared?

Do they decide
Out of love or hate
Which will change
Our country’s fate

Are they blessed
With a great intuition
Or just some old folks
With an important position

Do they have the pulse
Of our entire nation
Or just some old folks
With a lawyer’s explanation

I would like to believe
Their verdicts are a solution
Following all that’s written
In our nation’s Constitution

A Brain's Remains

Back of my Head


I am constantly troubled
By something in the back of my head
Visions from my past
Or things, that I mistakenly said

For the opinions that I hold
Were not always the case
Because back in my youth
My head was in a different place

In my life’s long journey
I now somehow realize
How the world has changed
In the perception in my eyes

Has the world really changed?
Or has age changed my views?
For everything seems so different
When I watch the evening news

Life used to be so simple
Our country was always right
But now I have these questions
That never seem, to come to light

A cold?

Nowhere To Blow

I’m all stuffed up
With nowhere to blow
This damned old cold
Just won’t let go

It’s been a week
With this stuffed up feeling
With my body always aching
And my head still reeling

After boxes of Kleenex
And dozens of pills
I still feel crummy
And now have the chills

My wife try’s to help
And feeds me hot soup
But I just keep sneezing
And feeling like poop

I don’t know if it’s a cold
Or a type of the flu
But I’m staying home
So I won’t contaminate you

Recycle?


As I came out my door, I saw this old man
Quietly rummaging, through my blue trash can

He looked at me. like I would holler at him to stop
Or maybe even worse, that I might call a cop

He rode an old bike, and his hair was long and gray
And as he was wondering, what I might say

The thought occurred to me, that on this very day
He was only collecting, what I was, throwing away

Now they labeled recyclable, on the blue trash bin
Which means someone else, will use these items again

And he had found a very useful purpose, for my trash
He would gladly collect it, and turn it into cash

Now that seemed like a good idea, for this older sir
He was just being, a very creative entrepreneur

I’m sure the police force, has much better plans
Then arresting old men, for collecting bottles and cans

So let us stop and think, not of a police action
But as a community, which has more compassion

Tiger's Drive

Tiger Woods

Tiger had a little accident
Just outside his house
I was told by the Enqirer
It was his loving spouse

I saw a wrecked vehicle
After he hit a tree
He’s not as good at the wheel
As he is right off the tee

The story is going around
That his wife is really pissed
He’d be better off driving
With his favorite Titleist

A very talented golfer
He has proven that to be
When it comes to spinning
We’re now about to see

When he’s on the golf course
He hits between the trees
But being chased by a mad woman
Brings everyman to his knees

Gilroy Library

Library Closing

I would like to pass along
This timely information
The library is moving
To it’s temporary location

And they will be closed starting
On December’s second day
To move all of their materials
Only a few blocks away

But while they are closed
For their move to 7652 Monterey Street
They are offering you a deal
I would like to repeat

Any material that
You check out before then
Won’t be due back
Till February 2010

Now you’ll have time
For those lengthy editions
Or learn a language
With these timely conditions

You will also be helping
The library’s great crew
By lightning the load
Of all, they have to do

November 22nd

November 22nd

Forty Six years ago
In a Texas town
The leader of our country
Was fatally, shot down

While riding in a convertible
On that fatal day
Our president and our innocence
Were suddenly taken away

He was mortally wounded
Cradled in his wife’s hands
Changing America’s future
And our nation’s plans

There has been much speculation
And many different theory
Was it a lone gunman?
Or a major conspiracy

I guess we will never know
The truth of this evil plan
Who took away our hope
We had in this great man

Cell Phones

Cell Phone Etiquette

When you walk around
With that thing on your ear
Are you aware?
What the rest of us hear

Because while you’re using
That fabulous “Blue Tooth”
You’ve pulled the rest of us
Into your private phone booth

And if you must always answer
That phone wherever you go
May I suggest that you
Skip the theatre and the show

For it’s really annoying
To be sitting in the third row
And listen to your conversation
To someone we don’t know

If you’re a doctor
And you answer that ring
We’ll not be annoyed
For some important thing

But if you’re just talking
To hear your own voice
The rest of all of us
Will give you a different choice

When you’re on long distance
And everything is loud what you say
Is that because
The other party is so far away?

And when we’re talking
Even though the subject is small
Don’t put me on hold
To answer an incoming call

The View”

There’s this daily show
That comes on at 10:00 A.M.
That’s not watched
By many of us men

There are five gals
Seated at this table
Discussing today’s topics
And being unstable

The first is Barbra
The “Mother Hen”
She produces the show
And decides if you return again

Next is Elizabeth
A pretty and lovely sight
But there’s a reason
She is sitting on the far right

Next comes Sherry
A very voluptuous broad
With wrestling and swimsuits
To put on her Blog

Next to her is Joy
The group’s funny chick
Who states her politics
With a clever little shtick

Whoppi is the moderator
She’s the smartest one
Controlling the chaos
Their discussion has become

The show has it’s moments
With ideas from these few
But it definitely gives you
These Ladies point of “View”

Voter Control

I Wonder Why I Voted?

Two Kennedy’s and Lincoln
Were all, shot fatally dead
Edwards and Spitzer were
Quickly removed, from our head

By embarrassing publicity
That has happened, just by chance
For not thinking, with their heads
But following an urge, in their pants

Were they set up
For a political cause
Or were they just victims
Of their own applause

Their messages were alarming
To the status quo
Was that a reason
Of why, they had to go

Were all the bankers
And those big CO’s
Extremely worried
Of what might be exposed?

The Nasty Weed

The city council has decided
That they must interced
To stop the dispensing
Of this dangerous, illegal weed

For a city license
The clinic did apply
Which the council
Did quickly deny

Followed by on order
Of "Cease & Desists'"
For a permit
That didn't exsist

And why was that
You might want to question
Your local politics
Would be my suggestion

We all know how
Sometimes it's hard
To express your compassion
When it's in, your back yard!

Support The Troops

A Well Deserved Discount

While working at the Garlic Fest
Which I did just last year
I was selling tickets
And checking ID’s for beer

At the ticket booth
There was a recurring question
Of which I’ll share with you
And propose my own suggestion

I was asked by many families
Of those who proudly serve
In our various Armed Forces
For something, they truly deserve

A family discount was what
They asked for my reply
And I felt so deeply sorry
When their request, we then did deny

For those in the service
Who are risking life and limb
It seemed so very wrong
To be denying, all of them

So maybe in the future
We must change the fee
For our valiant heroes
Who are protecting you and me

I don’t know who to ask
At the “Garlic Festival Association”
To take, on this noble task
To show, our true appreciation

But I’m sure, they’ll figure it out
By the end of next July
When this question is asked
A new price, will surely apply

Movie Review

Movie Review

My wife and I just went to see
The show “This Is It”
A new documentary
The Micheal Jackson flick

You will love this movie
If you’re a Micheal Jackson fan
Or if you happen to be
A VERY Gay Man

The dancing is fabulous
The dancer’s are delicious
But the music
Is a little too repetitious

On a scale of 1 to 10
A 5 would be my choice
But I’m not that crazy
About Micheal’s voice

What impressed me the most
Was all the preparation
To arrive at the final
Full concert presentation

Conservatives?

Conservatives?

Would someone please?
Give me an explanation
Why the “Conservatives”
Are all so opposed to conservation

Doesn’t their name
Seem somehow to apply
To try conserving
Or at least, give it a try

Conserving our natural resources
That are now, in short supply
But when we say, there’s a problem
All they do, is strongly deny

They are said to be on the “Right”
This loud and vocal throng
But from where I stand
They usually seem, to be in the “Wrong”

So it’s only likely
Neither of us will ever change
But if they won’t conserve
Then pick a different name

Shopping

Shopping

My wife takes me to Costco
On her shopping days
I go, somewhat to look
But mostly, just to graze

They have those little samples
Which are tasty and quite fun
But you’d better, be real quick
If you hope, to get one

For all the people gather
And they are extremely rude
When they’re all competing
For some easy, free food

But I just follow the wife
And lean on the shopping cart
Which is the same thing I do
When we go to, Wal-Mart

She sometimes has me help her
And gives me a little chore
Like going around and fetching
Something in the back of the store

Years ago when I was working
I never envisioned my retired life
Was spending all my days
Going shopping, with my wife

What's On TV

What's On TV

Obama’s on Letterman
McCain is on C-Span
Dick Cheney’s on “Fox News”
Trying to spin his evil plan

Do we have to listen?
To the former 2nd in command
He’s always spewing lies
This evil little man

On the inauguration day
We all saw him there
This evil little man
In his rolling chair

He is always frowning
And his only source of fun
Is going hunting with his fiends
But Watch Out for His Gun

We have all those pundits
All over the electronic tube
Are they really experts?
Or just a bunch of boobs

They say they have the answers
To the problems of our land
But are they just blowing smoke
Pretending we don’t understand

A Penny?

A Penny?

A penny for your thoughts
A dollar for your dreams
Have you ever wondered
What that expression means

Is it a nickel for a sentence
And a quarter for a paragraph
And if you do a whole page
Is that worth a dollar and a half

And what is so valuable
To put up cash on the line
And offer such a reward
Of what is on our mind

This just goes to show
How curious we have become
To offer real money
For the ideas, of someone

And is this age old question
A totally noble plea
Or are we just trying to find out
Their opinion of you and me

What's Up?

What’s Up?

We have pay raises on the top
We have pay cuts on the bottom
I know we’re not in Denmark
But something, still smells sort of rotten

The lower paid city workers
Quite often receive our praise
But only the top dogs
Will be getting, a healthy raise

And when they mention a furlough
I thought it meant some deserving R&R
But in today’s government language
It means your check, won’t go as far

I’d like to see more equity
For the city’s working class
Start cutting from the top
Then you’ll save some, real cash

I know my poem
May seem kind-of knee-jerk
But let’s be totally fair
For those who do the work

Hope

Hope?

Rows and rows
Of white marble stones
Underneath them lie
Our dead soldier’s bones

Sent to a war
We now know, was wrong
But that won’t change the fact
That they are, forever gone

But now I have hope
Running through my head
I hope Obama remembers
All that he has said

All those campaign promises
That put hope in our hearts
Well, I’m still Waiting
To see it, when it starts

We are forever hoping
That he’ll forge ahead
And change some of the wrong
That he has in-her-it-ed

Senior's Blogging?

As we blog, with the keyboard's touch
Some are getting it, some not so much

H1N1

We are all concerned
With the start of the “Swine Flu”
I hope I don’t get it
And I’m sure you do too

The church is telling us
To abstain from hand-shaking
I’m sure that will be more popular
Than abstaining from love-making

We now have a vaccine
Approved by C.D.C.
Sounds like a good prevention
For you and for me

Just a spray up your nose
Or a little shot in the arm
A little dead virus
Will do you no harm

Now some are still worried
That’s the message they’re sending
But I would rather believe
What the Doctors are recommending

Déjà-Vu


Remember that special election
When grey Davis was recalled
And Arnold Schwarzenegger
As governor was installed

Everyone was angry
About the higher fees
An unbalanced budget
Were the critic’s pleas

So here we are
Six years later
After we elected
The “Terminator”

So how much has changed
With the budget plan
By us all electing
A Republicaaan

Arnold’s ideas
Are to raise those fees
And bring our public schools
Right down to their knees

I hear no words of anger
Or threats of a recall
They just blame the Democrats
Under that big round ball

So another special election
Is their political answer
I knew he was an actor
But not a song and dancer

We elect these people
To make those difficult choices
But they won’t make decisions
They just want hear, their own pathetic voices

If I seem so cynical
With each question that I ask
I think that it’s time
To take these guys to task

Cash 4 Clunkers

The “Cash For Clunkers”
Was one of those great deals
You trade in your old junkers
And you get, a new set of wheels

The government’s “Stimulus Plan”
Was to put our economy, back in stride
We support the auto makers
And we get a new “Ride”

It seemed a good idea
To sell more cars
And help get rolling
This economy of ours

The plan was real solid
To help those auto installers
But I’m afraid, in the end
Japan & Germany got the most
of our dollars

The folk Singer

The Folk Singer

A singer of songs
A teller of tall tales
He’ll save the forests
And help save the whales

He may playing a banjo
Or maybe a guitar
Fighting for a cause
Or protesting a war

His clothes may be shabby
And his hair much too long
But he’ll sell his message
By singing his own song

He’s usually a liberal
But not always the case
He’ll tell his politics
Anytime, Anyplace

His song may be hidden
In the song he has sung
He’s fighting with words
Instead of using a gun

But some are still threatened
With the problems, that he warns
For swaying the public
Each time he performs



Because he’s a Folk Singer
And he’s his own man
He doesn’t need an orchestra
Or even a band

He needs no accompaniment
No help from anyone
He marches to the beat
Of his own different drum

For he’s the Folk Singer
And he has his own mission
To inform all of you
Of his special political position

He knows it’s his job
To tell a good story
Just like Woody Guthrie
In “Bound For Glory”

And just like Woody
He sings for the poor and the weak
Who have no loud voices
So the public can hear them speak

And when his song
Is finally done
His only hope
Is that, he touched someone

A Trophy

Do we measure someone’s value
By their trophy’s size
Be it an Oscar, an Emmy
Or even a Nobel Prize

A Heisman Trophy
Will make you a lot richer
And you get an Oscar
If you’re in the right picture

The N.F.L. has a silver ball
For the owner of their team
Hockey has a Big Cup
That disappears every year in between

If you get a “Grammy”
And I hope that you do
Don’t let anyone else
Take it away from you

Then there’s the “Tony”
For an outstanding play
I don’t live in New York
So it doesn’t matter, anyway

Miss America gets a crown
For being a beautiful girl
But only if she prays
For “Peace in the World”

The Dispatch

When I opened the Dispatch
I discovered something new
Right there on the page
Where we share our point of view

It was called “The Poet’s Corner”
And I wondered what was the intent
Were they encouraging poetry
About our government

For I had been sending poems
For quite a long time
But they have only published
About half of mine

And some of the contributors
Even receive a “Golden Quill”
For the letter that, they send
About our country’s current ills

But there is one thing
That seems to show, more clearly
You will probably be published
If you agree with, Mr. Mark Derry

A Call To Action

Now I certainly realize that
The Republican’s have all the bucks
Is this why the Democrats always
Seem to look like a bunch of schmucks

The Demo’s now have the majority
To get the bills passed through
So stop letting the Republican’s
Always take advantage of you

If the right wing insists
On playing those little games
It’s time for you, to KICK ASS
And start, taking Names

Stop being so concerned
About being politically correct
And help erase those last eight years
And all the people they affect

There’s a lot more of us on Main Street
Than all those guys, in high finance
So let’s change the rules
And give the rest of us, half a chance

And I don’t want to gossip
But have you seen Tom DeLay
“Dancing With The Stars”
He sure looks pretty--- gay

How Do You Spell B.S.

As you lay there suffering
And gasping for breath
Oh, Oh, here they come
“Obama’s Panel of Death”

It’s they who decide
In your final hours
To give you treatment
Or just send you flowers

This is just so wrong
And so totally absurd
To lead people astray
With these untrue words

But praise those HMO’s
Who demand that you pay
But when you need help
They just run away

Is your government run
By the lobbyist’s finance
So all the drug companies
Can keep, their hands in your pants

So stop trying to spin it
With the word “Socialize”
The solution is there
If we just open our eyes

So Long Charlie

Every life here on earth
Must come to an end
So, I come here today
To say “Goodbye to An Old Friend”

I was saddened to hear
When Henry called the other night
He made it perfectly clear
Charlie had gone into “That Long Good Night”

We played golf together
In Charlie’s later years
Told a few tall tales
And shared a couple of beers

He would walk up to the tee box
Place the ball on a little white peg
And proceed to outdrive my ball
While just standing, on one leg

He drove dragsters, and rode motorcycles
And he even ventured into flight
And I can still hear him saying
“Boy, You Got That Right”

So I’ll just say so long
To the man we all knew
And it was truly our good fortune
For all of us, to have known you

Seeking Direction

Roman, Roman,
You little Polanski
You left the country
When the verdict was chancy

Your life as been troubled
And sadness sealed your fate
With the horrible murder
Of your wife, Sharon Tate

Having sex with a child
With or without her consent
Is considered Statutory RAPE
By our government

When you ran away
And fled over to France
Even admitting that
You couldn’t keep it, in your pants

You’re a famous director
And a real wealthy guy
For people like you
The laws don’t apply?




Since you’re so talented
And a celebrity of sorts
Your fate is too important
To be decided, by our courts

So when trial was convening
You chose to run
Never facing the crime
That you had just done

But you have great vision
You’re a artistic dreamer
But the crime you committed
Was no misdemeanor

Don’t run away
Like a scared little kid
Come back and face up
To the things, that you did

So be a real man
And confront all your past
Come back and face your accusers
And show some REAL CLASS

MY 1st Entry

Just a little note
For your information
About my poetry
In this presentation

It will probably be liberal
Because those are my views
It will be my opinion
Of what's in the day's news

Tenacious Tom66