2009’s Bums
Governor Sanford went hiking
Along the old Appalachian Trail
But he ended up in Argentina
With one hot sexy female

It was a cellular phone
Caught Tiger Woods lying
His wife then chased him
With a Nike five iron

Bernie Madoff got busted
In a Ponzi scheme
But a 150 years
Does seem a little extreme

Governor Rod Blagojevich
Got in a lot of heat
When he tried to sell
Barrack’s Senate Seat

John Edwards, John Ensign
And TV host David Letterman
All were this caught year
Where they shouldn’t have been

Taffy

Last night I prayed for death
To come through our door
And take my wife’s little poodle
So she would suffer no more

My wishes were granted
Just a few hours later
As she lay there still
In the bed that I made her

My wife was heartbroken
And so was I
If you have a pet
You’ll understand why

Our little Taffy
Had lived a full life
So much of it better
When rescued by my wife

She had been abused
And mistreated so much
But she quickly responded
To Carol’s gentle touch

Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
And I was in the kitchen
Pouring myself a drink
While my wife just kept on, bitching

My companions were there
Dr. Pepper and Ron Caballero
I was feeling no pain
In this holiday scenario

The tree was all lighted
With those lights that you buy
And I have to admit
The same condition, was I

The music was playing
About those angels on high
That about the same altitude
As this friendly guy

The stockings were hung
All in a row
Reflecting the fireplace
Which was like I, all aglow

I felt sorry For Santa
Only once a year he comes
So instead of cookies and milk
I left him some coke and rum

There were presents
Tucked under the tree
There were more for the dog
Then there were for me

I bought my wife jewelry
Some diamonds and beads
Cause lord knows
There’s nothing she needs

For she always dresses me
And she’s my calorie counter
And she never let’s me forget
That I’d be lost without her

My wife loves Christmas
And the holiday season
She now can go shopping
For now she has a good reason

But I won’t say humbug
For that would be trite
I’ll just say, Merry Christmas to all
And to all a Good Night

Mother Said

With at least a million thoughts
That keep running through my head
Still the most important
Are the “Words My Mother Said”

Your greatest fears
Are those in your mind
Forgiveness and tolerance
And always be kind

Pity the ignorant
Who promote hate and fear
Read all you can
Believe little of what you hear

Keep an open mind
Never assume you’re too smart to learn
But don’t be afraid to doubt
And seek answers to your concern

Always be proud of yourself
Be honest, true, and fair
But don’t, you ever go out
Unless you have on, clean underwear

"It's A Wonderful Life"

Bedford Falls

Every Christmas season
TV shows “It’s A Wonderful Life”
Where Donna Reed plays
Jimmy Stewart’s loving wife

Jimmy play George Bailey
Of the Bailey Brother’s Savings & Loan
Where in the town of Bedford Falls
They help people purchase, a home of their own

It was the American Dream
For every family
To be a homeowner
In our land of the free

Lionel Barrymore
Played that evil Mr Potter
Who like today’s bankers
Led the lambs to the slaughter

He portrayed an evil character
Who is obessed with such greed
Like today’s bankers
Who own a poor man’s deed



But now Wall Street
Wants to spread, their Christmas Cheer
With all those big bonuses
To all their employees this year


The money that they spend
After we bailed them out
Could stop all the foreclosures
For four years or there about

Wall Street has taken our money
From the taxpayers of our nation
And spent about 100 million
To fight any kind of regulation

They have devalued our dollar
And risen the price of gold
While pushing American families
Right out, in to the cold

So bring back George Bailey
And that Savings & Loan
With the things, that we value
Like a home of our own

Supreme? Court

Are they part of
America’s dream
And why is this court
Is called supreme

Just nine old folks
With a law degree
Deciding the future
For you and me

Are we so sure
That they’re that smart
Do they make judgments
From their brain or their heart

Does their conscience
Influence their decisions
Or is it their politics
Or choice of religions

I only hope that
They’re honest and fair
When they decide
What laws are declared?

Do they decide
Out of love or hate
Which will change
Our country’s fate

Are they blessed
With a great intuition
Or just some old folks
With an important position

Do they have the pulse
Of our entire nation
Or just some old folks
With a lawyer’s explanation

I would like to believe
Their verdicts are a solution
Following all that’s written
In our nation’s Constitution

A Brain's Remains

Back of my Head


I am constantly troubled
By something in the back of my head
Visions from my past
Or things, that I mistakenly said

For the opinions that I hold
Were not always the case
Because back in my youth
My head was in a different place

In my life’s long journey
I now somehow realize
How the world has changed
In the perception in my eyes

Has the world really changed?
Or has age changed my views?
For everything seems so different
When I watch the evening news

Life used to be so simple
Our country was always right
But now I have these questions
That never seem, to come to light

A cold?

Nowhere To Blow

I’m all stuffed up
With nowhere to blow
This damned old cold
Just won’t let go

It’s been a week
With this stuffed up feeling
With my body always aching
And my head still reeling

After boxes of Kleenex
And dozens of pills
I still feel crummy
And now have the chills

My wife try’s to help
And feeds me hot soup
But I just keep sneezing
And feeling like poop

I don’t know if it’s a cold
Or a type of the flu
But I’m staying home
So I won’t contaminate you

Recycle?


As I came out my door, I saw this old man
Quietly rummaging, through my blue trash can

He looked at me. like I would holler at him to stop
Or maybe even worse, that I might call a cop

He rode an old bike, and his hair was long and gray
And as he was wondering, what I might say

The thought occurred to me, that on this very day
He was only collecting, what I was, throwing away

Now they labeled recyclable, on the blue trash bin
Which means someone else, will use these items again

And he had found a very useful purpose, for my trash
He would gladly collect it, and turn it into cash

Now that seemed like a good idea, for this older sir
He was just being, a very creative entrepreneur

I’m sure the police force, has much better plans
Then arresting old men, for collecting bottles and cans

So let us stop and think, not of a police action
But as a community, which has more compassion